Wednesday, April 30, 2008

With age comes wisdom or so you'd think

A few things I've learned: (all the hard way)

Don't get dressed in the dark. I walked around with two different kinds of shoes on for a while today. Ever notice how seldom you check your shoes once you have them on?

When holding a pen in your mouth, remember it's there before you try to kiss someone.

Tuna casserole is much, much tastier with the tuna added.

Telling yourself fifty times to remember the camera doesn't really help.

As newlyweds, never trust your husband when he keeps laughing and you don't know why. When you ask him what's so funny and he just keeps laughing, it's never a good thing. It's especially bad when a few minutes later he tells you that you walked out of the house with your dress tucked into your underwear.

Be careful what you preach, it can come back to bite you in the.....rear end. For example, "Mommy, is magic real?" "No, honey they are just fun tricks." "Then, what about Christmas magic?" Crap.

When using a digital camera to take a video of your child, remember that it does not work like a camera - you can't turn it sideways to get a better view. Case in point:

Yep, there are 11 more just like this with the other kids. Good times.

Bounce drier sheets pinned to your clothes do not fend off the bees. It's just some rumor someone started to make me look stupid.

Readers beware...
After panicking from a high cholesterol count, don't try to clear out your arteries in one easy step. Don't eat four large bowls of Fiber One cereal before going to the temple.


Zack Church said...

Here's one from your early years:
While driving you and your siblings to school, if the pop-tarts on the seat next to you happen to fall on the floor after you round a corner, don't let go of the steering wheel and forget that you're driving a car--just to rescue your pop-tarts.

Zack Church said...

Just to be fair, here's one from my "oops" advice column:

If you ever have to stick your head under a table or desk or inside a fridge or box to look for something, or if you ever need to walk underneath a partially opened garage door, always make sure there is sufficient clearance for your head.

I have the bumps, scars, and short-term memory problems that prove I have never properly learned this lesson.

Fullmer Fam said...

I've worn two different earings to church before and no one told me!! When I asked Troy he responded "Oh, it didn't bother me...And they both looked nice!" Thanks for the help!

Fullmer Fam said...

Oh, so that's what happened to Zack...Ha ha...Just kidding! ;)

Erika said...

We have lots of videos that are sideways!! And chicken pot pie is much better with the chicken! I also forget to wear mascara a lot. Which looks funny... That must have been quite the temple trip! yikes! Soy products suck out bad colestrol, vanilla soy milk in fruit smoothies is great!

Utah Mom(did I just say that?) said...

I have so many but the best of the best was a few years back....always make sure you are wearing a bra when you leave the house...especially when you are going to the grocery store...late at night!

Rachel said...

you are H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!!!! i love it! aaron and i are laughing so hard right now. i wish i could remember all that sort of stuff so i could laugh about it later. i think i block it all out. too bad. i'm missing out.

keep it coming!

Zack Church said...

Amber & Erika - Just FYI, there's a fairly straightforward way to rotate a video 90 degrees (taking videos at a rotated angle seems to be an affliction shared by both of you, so I figured I'd share). Granted, it's not quite as "one click" easy as rotating a still image, but it's still possible nevertheless. Here's what you do:
1. First, you need a computer with at least Windows XP on it, and make note that these particular steps only work with Windows Media video file formats (AVI, WMV, MPG, MPEG, and a few others), although there are programs out there that will rotate other video file formats.
2. Open up the Windows Movie Maker program... it should be on your Start | All Programs menu, but if you can't find it, click on Start, select "Run", then type in moviemk and click "OK".
3. Once Windows Movie Maker is open, click the "Import Video" option in the upper-left, under the "Capture Video" heading.
4. You'll be prompted to browse to the file on your computer, so find it, select it, and click "Import".
5. When the video is imported, you'll see a little thumbnail image of it. Click and drag that thumbnail image of your video down onto one of the timeline squares at the bottom of the window.
6. Now, right-click on the video you dragged to the bottom of the screen and select the "Video Effects" option.
7. A window will appear, and when it does, scroll down the list of "Available effects" until you see the options to rotate the video 90, 180, or 270 degrees (to the right of how the video is currently viewed). Double-click on whichever one applies to the video you took (usually either 90 or 270 degrees).
8. Click on File | Save Movie File, to save the rotated movie file to your computer. Then you'll be prompted with a series of questions about how & where you want to save the new file. Typically, to get the best video, I go through the "Save Movie Wizard" this way: Select "My Computer" and click "Next". Enter a name for the movie file, make note of where the movie will be saved (or change it) and click "Next". I select the "High quality video (large)" option and click "Next" (unless I'm putting it on the web or some other place where I'm more concerned about the file size). The video file will then be created and saved in the place I specified.

The Eggett Family said...

You are so funny. I've taken many videos sideways. I had a good laugh about the fiber one. I ate way too many fiber one bars in a day, and let me tell ya, that night was NOT pretty. Let's just say I'll never eat another fiber one bar :)

Aaron & Devony said...

Ooh Amber I love the stories and was laughing so hard. Zack, thanks for the tips on rotating the videos - I do that too! Thanks for making my day!

Kali said...

Those are so funny, Amber! Thanks for sharing!

Nate & Jess & Jr. said...

Good to know...good to know!
I wish I could have tuna casserole! I was e-mailed that dryer sheet myth too! Sorry to say you had to test it out, but good to know it doesn't work. I hope the experience wasn't too traumatic!

Oh & thank you Zack...I'm having so much fun with that "movie maker" program. I never knew I had that on my computer! Wahooo!